i realize it's been ages since i last updated. i really haven't been able to after the surgery (i'm fine by the way). but it's a new year.. and updating this diary is on my list of things i really want to do the most.

i hope everyone had a good new year's. i did. it was amazing. there's nothing better than partying with your friends and family. i wouldn't have had as much fun without either.

i also had the best christmas ever. the best present i got was a baby brother. after years of donating to the homeless kids' charity thingy, my mom finally adopted a baby from there. she had been wanting to for so long and i wanted her to too. and i'm so happy that she did. i already love him so much. i don't think i could've loved a blood brother any more than i love him. he's the cutest (yes, i did say "cutest") baby in the world. i love the way he laughs.. and i love how he always jumps when he's happy. i can't wait for his birthday in a few days (he's going to be one year old). he's going to get showered in presents again. it should be fun.

a lot of people think it's weird when i tell them that my family is the most important thing to me. i guess it's just unusual to hear something like that come from a guy. but it's true. my family has always been the most important... it always will be. i love my family more than anything. maybe it's because i've always been so close to mine? my youngest sister is one of my best friends. we talk about everything. my oldest one has always been the one i'd go to when i'd be upset. i adore my mom.. she is amazing. so was my dad. i can really only dream to be half as awesome as he was. and my little brother.. i can't wait to see him grow up.

sometimes it's hard for me to believe when other people tell me how much they dislike their family, and how they're not close. i just can't relate to it at all. and i feel bad. because i think everyone should have a loving family they can always count on. and sometimes as much as those people seem to shrug it off and act like they don't care, i'm pretty sure they wish they were closer to their family too. i really don't know what to say to those people, except this: let it be a lesson for the future. one day when you have kids yourself, make them feel loved & provide them a loving family. don't let them feel like you feel today. i know that being so close to your family isn't all that "popular" in the Westernized world.. but i don't think there's anything better than the unconditional love that your family gives you.

i hope i'll have one too one day. it's the thing i want the most. i don't want an ordinary life. i guess that's one of the reasons why i never took the opportunity to play pro in Europe. and why i never accepted any of the opportunities to start a singing career. i just want a simple life. so i really hope i get to have one. with stephanie. i wouldn't want anyone else. these 21 months (it's our anniversary today) with her have been the best months of my life and i really am anxious for the rest & what the future has to offer us. i'm not one to make plans for the future.. but i really do hope she'll always be by my side so we can have everything we have always wanted. it's really all i ever want.

mixtapes and memories